First off, I cannot believe it is already August!! Where has the year gone already?! But I’m also grateful to be out of July.
For the last five years, it’s been a hard month full of memories of what once was, grieving in a healthy way, and coming around year after year to celebrate a life. This year was different. It was five, FIVE, years ago I lost my spouse and Breelyn’s daddy. It feels like so much time has gone by, and then too like it was yesterday I said goodbye and headed off to Dallas while he went to play golf! Not only was July 2018 a month of memory, but also a month of more loss for my friends. We lost three friends in the span of two weeks. It is not easy to watch your friends hurt and be in pain that no one can take away. I know this pain all too well. There is shock, denial, grief and sadness. Truth be told, that’s really all there is for a while. And eventually you find peace, grace, love, honor, life, and hope. I say all of this not to create sadness for what is, but to bring awareness to discussing our loss with the people we love most. It’s never easy and it is by far the last thing we want to do when feeling sad. But quite possibly just talking about it more openly could have saved two friends lives this last month.
I unknowingly wrestled with depression after Zack died. I stayed strong for Breelyn because she was so young- I had no other choice. But it wasnt until I truly got back on my feet that I realized how down I really was for many months. I slept longer than I needed, I sometimes never got out of my jammies, and I ate horribly. *and this was all okay for me to do- i lost one of the most important people in my life* I enrolled into school at Wesleyan University and it brought God back into my life. My heart felt less heavy with each passing month and my life was (slowly) forever changed. Earlier this year I began a journey with Holy Yoga to become a yoga instructor. It puts Christ at the center of our practice vs the self. Currently, I am doing a discipleship group at church with some awesome women and I ran across a passage from Pope Benedict XVI that inspired me to make this post.
and the passage continued, but don’t we all strive to have happiness and joy in our lives. And to be Free!! Isnt it wonderful to know that Christ can and will bring us everything if we just open the door to let him in. Of course that sounds so easy, but it’s not. Everyday we have to continue to open those doors wider and deeper than the hinges will allow. Only we can open the doors, only we have the key. We have to grow in our faith and life each day. We have to make the choice and no one can do that for us.
This is the same with our life. Make a choice to strive for difference and change if you aren’t satisfied with the direction your life is heading. Alter your path and strive for better. We all deserve the best that God has given us. If you aren’t a believer, that’s okay, you can still make changes. And why not give God a chance too- what do you have to lose? If nothing else, reach out to a friend or family member today who you know is hurting and could use some soul refreshing. Let yourself be the person they can lean on today. If your the one hurting, reach out to someone and tell them your story.
Inspire change, create life, and choose freedom.
