Yesterday, we celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary. We decided during our first year of marriage that we would look upon the traditional gifts given for anniversaries, and gift within them. This year was fruits and flowers. This was a bit of a challenge at first thinking for a man, but I quickly got creative and decided to bake him an Apple Pie. It’s one of his favorites. I do not like cinnamon. It’s definitely something that’s been a while for him to eat since I cook most often. I should start here by saying, I have only ever baked one other pie and it did not turn out well. (Yes dear chocolate pecan pie- I remember you!) I can bake cookies, breads, cakes, brownies, etc but pies… not for me thus far in life. I had done some homework this time and watched lots of apple pie baking videos (thanks YouTube & all the bakers that make videos!). I also gathered up recipes from my mom and Paul’s mom. I was going to knock this apple pie off its socks!
So let’s take a look into yesterday morning starting to bake this pie. Recipes for making the pie crust out and ready to be accomplished. Check. Then i begin gathering all the ingredients and mixing them as recommended. Check. Except one thing happened after it’s all combined, the dough was still dry and falling a part. I added more oil like the directions said. When that failed, I added some water. Nothing changed. So in a somewhat mild panic, I call Paul’s mom. She’s just as baffled as I am and gives the advice to keep adding water not oil until it sticks together. I thank her and start to proceed back to the kitchen for crust making when I see my current books “Wait and See” and “Jesus Calling” on the coffee bar. I’ve been listening more to my call from the Holy Spirit and so I pick up the books. I begin with the days reading for August 5th. It was spot on. “Sit quietly in My Presence as I bless you.” And “Do not wear yourself out by worrying about whether you can cope with the pressures. Keep looking to Me and communicating with Me, as we walk through this day together.” The other book asked me to read Psalms 16, which talks about our security in God. I say a prayer to the Lord asking for Him to work with me to make this pie at least turn out, it doesn’t have to be perfect, but edible would be a huge plus.
Back to the crust I go. Add water, add some more. A thought of marriage comes into my mind. The first year of marriage is kind of like the crust. You have the right ingredients, love, friendship, trust, excitement for the future, etc. but unless you establish a rooted foundation (the dough sticking together!) the rest of your marriage cannot survive. It will be constantly shifting under the crumbling dough you tried to build upon. Interesting thought, OMG my dough is finally sticking! Hallelujah!! Ball it up, roll it out, and cut one layer into strips and the other in the pie pan. Set aside.
Next, I start peeling and slicing the apples. Delicious green apples!! I may have eaten a few along the way. Into a large bowl and next sprinkle with cinnamon. Mix until coated evenly. Another thought of marriage enters my mind. It’s after the “honeymoon” year of marriage and into the second when small things that bother each other are discussed. For example, the way socks are left wherever they are taken off- can’t you just put them in the laundry basket?! (Answer: no, no they cannot! ;) ) the combining of apples and cinnamon is this binding of one another on a deeper, more real level of who each of you are on a daily level. No longer are the tiptoeing days of the first year. And no matter how hard you try the cinnamon is stuck to the apples and it isn’t leaving. It’s about learning to love your spouse where they are, for who they are. We cannot change them. It’s not our job. That’s God’s job to alter our path in the ways He has set forth. We love, cherish, give grace, and hold space for the refining God is doing to each of us.
Onto the filling! This was an add to the recipes from our parents as video after video said this extra little step makes the apple pie hold and gives it a richness. Winning! I heat the ingredients together to a boil, give it a little taste, and add to the cinnamon apples. (Side note: it’s Delicious- if I could taste and love the end result of this apple pie- it probably would be the game changer for me too!) This feels like the third year of marriage coming together. It’s taking all the ingredients of your marriage thus far and mixing them, boiling them, and turning them into a delicious caramel like sauce. But remember, it’s hot, boiling hot and it can be messy and sticky like caramel too. Which goes to say there have been the ups and the downs of navigating this life with someone else. Choosing daily to be an integral ingredient in the daily grid of life, but still choosing them everyday no matter what down you’re in with each other.
Next step, bring out the the foundation crust and add the other two years of marriage in, layer with the sliced crust pieces to make it bind in the same layers of your marriage, ya know, make it look just as pretty and complex! Fold all the crust together on the ends and create a binding of the two crusts to become one.
Simply bake the pie. Baking the pie turns the raw foundation into a solid “rock” upon which all the other years can grow, become delicious, warm and gooey on the inside. When it’s done, you enter into your fourth year of marriage more bonded than you thought was possible because you took the time to build on your foundation, prayed, gave grace, prayed some more, and chose to love them as they are.
Last step, and by far the most important, Enjoy it! It doesn’t have to look or be perfect to still taste amazing. Marriage is the same- it will never look perfect, but it can be amazing. Once the pie is done baking, you have to let it set up for an hour. Oh yes, the “waiting” period God brought to my attention at the beginning of making this pie. Learning to wait for the harder seasons to pass, growth to occur, and then enjoying the fruits of our labor. It’s worth the extra steps.
Maybe you don’t have to bake the actual pie everyday to recall your journey, but you can smell it and take you right back to it every day. Simply add 2 drops of each EO and let it fill the room. Adventure together and Enjoy every moment of it. The Apple Pie and your marriage!!
